guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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