Will you blow on my dice?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
