Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she pinky promised me she was 18
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
