I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
