I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
