so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
