He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
