Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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