I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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