how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
