JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
