Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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