you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize