everyone is single if you try hard enough
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
