He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
