I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize