She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
