So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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