once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm sobbing to NWA
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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