i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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