There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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