Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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