Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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