I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
