dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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