apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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