Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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