Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
