i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
