Where are you?
In a non slutty way
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
