your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
