i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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