is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
