Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT

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(647): View more from Ontario

It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.

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(334): View more from Alabama

Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.

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(310): View more from California

Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?

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(503): View more from Oregon

My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.

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(432): View more from Texas

Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?

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(812): View more from Indiana

High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me

(316): View more from Kansas

Where the hell are you

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