i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize