pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
