Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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