are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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