Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
is wine microwaveable?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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