it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Randomize