I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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