i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
