whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so that wasnt chicken after all
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
