She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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