a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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