I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
