just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
