so explain again why im purple
no
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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