I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
