There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
