Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
