Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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