hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
