Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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