I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
