Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Say something about gay babies.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize