belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
