I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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